overheard

Not long ago, we had the sliding glass door to our patio open. At some point, Brian looked up and freaked out.
Brian: There's a cat in our house!!
(Our neighbors have an outdoor cat that must have found its way onto our patio.)

*****

Brian (fending for himself for dinner): Where would I find a large bag of [food storage] rice?
Amy: Umm, in the bathroom...