editing headache

During the summer, I had 2 classes to finish up before graduation. One of them was a world history class that was only difficult because of my extreme lack of interest in the subject. Anyway, one of the assignments during the semester was to write a 3-4 page paper related to a memoir we read. After turning in our rough drafts, we had to read and review 2 of our peers' papers.

I know I'm not the best writer in the world (I'm the first to admit it!!). However, before I started at OSU, I was warned by several friends not to worry too much about it because no one at OSU can write. ;) Unfortunately, when I read the other students' papers, I found that I had to agree to an extent. (Don't worry, I know some people at OSU can write...) One of the papers was chock full of run-on sentences. I have reproduced the worst offenders below for your reading pleasure/pain/torment. (NOTE: I did not ask his permission and may have to take this down.)

"For example, after the Russians and Chinese had made their way back and winter was settling in quite hard, Kuramoto’s father was outside cutting a tree up for firewood to keep his family from freezing to death when two Chinese policemen came up and enlightened him to the fact that that tree and house and yard were not his, that they actually belonged to the Chinese government and would not be able to cut any more tree branches off the trees."

"True they were not thinking of imperialism as it is talked about today but because of the imperialistic way of life the citizens were pressured into thinking constantly about the effects of imperialism, such as segregation, oppression, rioting and later in life the mental aspects of being in the trenches of a collapsing imperialistic society."
 
After reading the first one, Brian recommended that I comment with "Holy run-on sentence, Batman!" for it in my peer review. Too bad I didn't have the guts.